Those memories are almost washed out but yes I remember sometime. I had few affairs before I get married but 1 is really special & closest to my heart!

Krishnendu, I can’t forget you. There is nothing left in my heart but I enjoy remembering the time we spent together. Those 3 years are still special for me. I know you left me alone in this world but yes with God grace I met my husband & really thankful to him for helping me out to come out of that trauma.

I was 22 when I met Krish, he was a young smart stud, height 6.1 feet, fair colour & his seance of humour was out of the world. I was completely flat when I saw his first day in my MBA college. He was my dream boy, yes was the best fit to be my dream boy. He was in second-year & a college leader from a political party. While being socially so active, he was good at studies as well. I somehow got to interact with him & I am sure he judged me & sensed that I have feelings for him.

Yes, that’s what I wanted, to show him my feelings. We started spending some good time with each other, he was also looking quite interested but never took a step ahead. I was getting restless on why he was not proposing me. So I proposed him, initially he didn’t accept saying that we should give more time to understand each other, but later he said Yes a big Yes with a proposal which was full of surprises on that day.

Everything was going fine until I met his ex-girlfriend who informed me that he has some criminal cases against him. It was a shock because one case was a murder. I was shocked rather shattered, I felt that I am going to be in big shit. I couldn’t even speak to him about it. It was almost 2 years & I decide to continue because I was finding it difficult living without him.

Surprisingly one day he spoke to me about it & admitted his faults & the crimes he did. He asked me to leave him because those court cases were unacceptably going out of his favours & he informed me that he can get long term imprisonment. My life was like a hell those days, I had no clue what to do as my family was also not knowing about my affair & I had nothing to tell them. I had no clarity on our future what should I have spoken to my family!

Each day was very difficult to pass on. Many times I thought of committing suicide but could do it because there was always a ray of hope. Meanwhile, my parents were looking out alliances for me and one of the weekly job for me to meet a new guy & say no giving a reason.

Finally, the day of court hearing came & Kris got imprisonment for 5 years. I was still happy & though, at least after 5 years, it would be end of my sorrows. I was in court & relaxed. When I met Kris he was looking quite depressed, I tried to console him but it didn’t work out. I kept trying by meeting him in jail many times but nothing was working out.

13th March 2004 was the worst day of my life, I got a call early morning from jail that Kris has left me alone in this world & committed suicide & ………… I am sorry I can’t write further…..as I don’t want to remember all that again. I thought of writing it on this platform so that Kris can be still alive somewhere even after me. That was our destiny when Kris got into some bad situations & committed some crime, he was not all guilty but perhaps got tired fighting with system & situations. Otherwise, trust me he was a superb guy & a great lover too! God bless his Soul!!! RIP

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